How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize