if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Semen is not good for contacts.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
