dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
