So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
