just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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