she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
