Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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