when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
