What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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