oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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