are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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