I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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