mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
