I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
