windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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