I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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