Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
