eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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