addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Randomize
