Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
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I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
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But theres a keg here and me gusta
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
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