Who did Billy Mays play for?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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