I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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