Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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