HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize