Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I currently don't understand fingers.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
