There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
