How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize