so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
