Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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