just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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