Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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