Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
