He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
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Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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