WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
