I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize