Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Yo quero taco bell

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(857): He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef (617): Yo quero taco bell http://tfl.nu/9ye7

Replies (4) Good night (965) Bad night (1255)
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(716): View more from New York

I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.

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(716): I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad. http://tfl.nu/kobd

Replies (15) Good night (1649) Bad night (2544)
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(515): View more from Iowa

there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.

(1-515): View more from Iowa

yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.

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(515): there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up. (1-515): yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that. http://tfl.nu/isva

Replies (9) Good night (2788) Bad night (839)
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(561): View more from Florida

i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.

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(561): i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks. http://tfl.nu/2sae

Replies (17) Good night (12696) Bad night (1018)
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(301): View more from Maryland

Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.

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(301): Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward. http://tfl.nu/yset

Replies (16) Good night (4855) Bad night (1437)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.

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(763): He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening. http://tfl.nu/7ub3

Replies (11) Good night (1324) Bad night (5860)
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(707): View more from California

Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.

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(707): Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty. http://tfl.nu/vu49

Replies (8) Good night (3429) Bad night (844)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!

(860): View more from Connecticut

I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo

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(860): MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!! (860): I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo http://tfl.nu/vjys

Replies (14) Good night (8528) Bad night (1080)
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(305): View more from Florida

Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.

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(305): Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her. http://tfl.nu/ismz

Replies (19) Good night (2208) Bad night (609)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?

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(774): Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is? http://tfl.nu/utv4

Replies (7) Good night (1388) Bad night (419)
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(316): View more from Kansas

ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.

(316): View more from Kansas

And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming

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(316): ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid. (316): And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming http://tfl.nu/9ifj

Replies (2) Good night (974) Bad night (429)
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(925): View more from California

I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...

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(925): I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year... http://tfl.nu/2wth

Replies (2) Good night (958) Bad night (435)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.

(501): View more from Arkansas

Just skip

(479): View more from Arkansas

Please. i have SOME standards

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(479): Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day. (501): Just skip (479): Please. i have SOME standards http://tfl.nu/0muv

Replies (0) Good night (905) Bad night (366)
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(256): View more from Alabama

Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG

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(256): Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG http://tfl.nu/vp2r

Replies (5) Good night (495) Bad night (272)
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(818): View more from California

You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance

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(818): You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance http://tfl.nu/4g8g

Replies (3) Good night (559) Bad night (325)

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