You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
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How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment