Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?

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  (503): can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone? http://tfl.nu/oqh6
  Replies (33) Good night (907) Bad night (13184)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.

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  (248): I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent. http://tfl.nu/jxt2
  Replies (108) Good night (13941) Bad night (1214)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope

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  (412): basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope http://tfl.nu/brdy
  Replies (28) Good night (1225) Bad night (4654)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.

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  (360): Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning. http://tfl.nu/92kl
  Replies (18) Good night (2867) Bad night (765)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.

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  (509): I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning. http://tfl.nu/olim
  Replies (7) Good night (2341) Bad night (556)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.

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  (253): The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case. http://tfl.nu/nkd8
  Replies (2) Good night (2150) Bad night (1042)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat

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  (903): Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat http://tfl.nu/dy7q
  Replies (3) Good night (1839) Bad night (561)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?

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  (832): I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went? http://tfl.nu/hldx
  Replies (8) Good night (632) Bad night (1250)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab

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  (505): I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab http://tfl.nu/ok4v
  Replies (3) Good night (1085) Bad night (575)
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  (619): View more from California

  He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.

  (760): View more from California

  Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.

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  (619): He is just a personification of a vodka hangover. (760): Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes. http://tfl.nu/e8aw
  Replies (1) Good night (1049) Bad night (503)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?

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  (505): did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy? http://tfl.nu/wq3k
  Replies (3) Good night (762) Bad night (484)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.

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  (413): He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex. http://tfl.nu/az8i
  Replies (1) Good night (337) Bad night (639)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire

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  (404): Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire http://tfl.nu/4cfz
  Replies (3) Good night (344) Bad night (454)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.

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  (708): You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat. http://tfl.nu/s6dc
  Replies (1) Good night (404) Bad night (519)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat

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  (321): This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat http://tfl.nu/jdal
  Replies (0) Good night (625) Bad night (302)

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