I'm going to jail i love you
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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