Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
i think im in europe. pls send help
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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