What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
