I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
