New invention idea: vibrating tampons
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
