I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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