i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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