Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
