They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
