I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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