you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
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I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
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That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize