I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
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