Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
