do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
