went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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