So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
