i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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