C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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