Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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