I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
did i walk over a car last night?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
