So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
