Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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