I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
