my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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