that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
