Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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