Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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