i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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