just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
