I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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