I only kidnapped one of them. chill
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The best revenge is premature balding
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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