Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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