i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
