I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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